| Writings |
Rae |
Past |
Visuals |
But if your heart's not in it, for real.
Please dont try to fake what you dont feel.
If love's already gone,
Its not fair to lead me on.
Cause, i would give the whole world, for you.
Anything you'd ask of me, i'll do.
But i wont ask you to say,
I'd rather walk away.
If your heart's not in it.
hoho.
a whole load of cousins at my house.
they stayed over night.
wow.
squeezed into my brother and sisters' room.
good thing i still have the whole big bed for myself.xiaohei and my chicken bolster.
:)
we made the decision yesterday.
and i promise.
i shall stand firm on my decision.
i'll be looking forward to everything.
and best of all.
our studiohouse!
i'm prepared not to get married anyway.
hehe.
oh yay.rocks.
means no children.
no pain.
just a world of our own.
lalala.
and everything!
we can go on holiday together!
oh whee.
i dont care how the society look at us.
nor care if they discriminate us.
lalala.
yesterday i read a magazine article on homosexual marriages.
and elton john and his love had been like together for 11 years.
thats like.
wow.
o.O
lalalala.
rae is happy.
rae is happy.
i'm glad everything's settled now.
well start planning for our future.
:) hees.
i wonder when can my mother accept her for who she is.
she's my baby.
sighs.
could tell that she wasnt very comfortable when baby came over on thursday.
when we were alone in my room.
oh wells.sulks.
here comes the holidays.
headed for town after school yesterday.
guess who me and qian saw?
utt.
oh man.
he's cao yandao.and cute can.
qian's heart melted.
so did mine.
i took a picture wif him!
he put his hand over my shoulder for the snap.
aint i lucky?
hoho.i was like damn excited.
:DDDDD
me and my sister bought the same bag!
what good sisters we are.
and we headed back to school for our meet the parents session.
so pervertic.
my sister damn da pai can!
her juniors had to greet her.
oh man.
how i wish i can be greeted too.
super cool.
the meet the parents turned out a horror can.
especially when my parents went to talk to lao wu.
other than my rc stuffs,attire.
guess what the other major thing lao wu mentioned?
hua qian yi.
i freaked out la.
and faridah was here too.
cos lao wu asked her over.
!!!
but we're just very good friends what.
sighs.
there's something only love can do.
i believe in love no more. what's that anyway?
i just want to bleed and die.
away from all these worries.
away from the future ahead of me.
away from everything.
everything.
aint in the mood to smile.
sighs.
i like to see people smile.
yet i cant smile now.
i need somebody to ease my pain.
i dont want to face this truth.
i believed in us.
our future.
yet all hopes are dashed.
its alright.
i'm okay.
seriously.
perhaps i'm too naive.
tears of a naive child.
i need my sister.
i need her words of comfort.
i need ganma and her big stomach to hug and lie on.
i need mingming to ask me if i'm okay.
i need to hear yvette's chicken laughter.
i need to see qian smile.
rae is okay.
:)
life sucks la.
everything's coming to an end.
wow.
how i wish i could just cut myself and die.
bleed to die.
that would be fun aint it.
see the thick red liquid flowing out from it.
perhaps it can ease my pain.
drain all the blood from me.
till i become cold and lifeless.
wooh.cool.
i'm not a perfect person.
miss singapore 86 is like damn pretty.
nice smile she has.
and you could see mr sueresh drooling.
not to mention blushing.
when she called him a handsome guy.
oh man.
ms nair chatted wif me again!
she's like damn lame.
she ask me why my hair's standing.
she asked:" stand up for singapore?"
hoho.-____-l|
thats super lame.
thanks to my beloved mingming fro enlightening me.
and forever asking if i'm alright.
i am.:)
just alittle suicidal at times only.
hoho.but i'll be alright.
listen to yr words.
setbacks in life are to make me stronger.
i really hope everything will be alright.
cos rae needs you.
i love to hug my friends.:)
teachers coming to students blogs once again!
i really wonder if they do come here.
leave a trace!
hoho.
rae is curious.
very curious.
went to watch 50 first dates yesterday!
hoho.its like damn late to watch it la.
but the guy is like damn sweet!
he has to jio the girl every single day.
awww.its like damn sweet la.
ganma didnt have recess wif us today!
miss her and her nonsense.
and her nonsense arm.and her nonsense her.
as in her.
hoho.
ganma's really crazy.
:)
that crazy woman is really crazy.
hoho.looks like so got nothing to defend herself already la.
her friends must be like blind?
look at how she treat her peers.
oh ya.not to mention the way she acts too.
super yucks.
yucks is the only word i can find la.
hoho.
this explains her unpopularity in the level.
hohoho.i like this game.
too bad.she caused everything.
by causing everything.
she's just finding for her own doom la.
lalala.
fuck that fucking shit who said i got no looks.
and no character.
and i'm just a desperate flirt.
wow.thanks for yr comment anyway.
i appreciate that.
:)
grr.shall not let such a damn person spoil my day.
today rocks la.
i did well.
cheers.
topped for history.
whee.didnt expect myself to do that well.
but the good thing is i won moley.
and i love playing chinese chess.
so brain cell consuming.
i think my kor is damn funny la.
she can do funny actions!
copy how the teachers act.
especially on monicachng and gonnieroh.
haha.made us like like crazy.
she's happy.so am i.
we did well in our history!
lalala.
baby's abit weird nowadays.
her mood swing damn fast.
sighs.
hohoho.
life's damn funny can.
my best senior rocks my socks la.
shes damn cute.
her words are so powerful.
:)
yesterdays golf rocks la.
i can qualify for my test.
wooow.
i'm doing much better than the rest.
and daddy almost bought me a digi cam which is like damn ex.
but he didnt.
naa,its alright la.
not really that disappointed.
later part of the day got qt pissed.
due to some bitch.
hoho.
i really think she big talk only.
too bad.baby's and so many pple are on my side.
too bad for her la.
i just have too many friends around the school.
dont forget okay.
even nair wants to be my friend.
she's just courting for a sure-to-lose battle la.
look at whose her opponents.
me and so many powerful pple.
too bad la.
she should like get a life.spice it up here and there.
do some self-reflection.
and another point.
i'm not rude.
cos nair says i'm such a nice sweet girl.
hohoho.
hoho.
yesterday was damn nice.
got back some exam papers.
my emaths was a thumbs up.:)
english and chinese sucks la.
chow wen xin is damn smart.
tsk tsk.
her results are like super good.
but she's super pai can.
after school.
baby came my hse!
HOHO.nice.nice.
cos my mummy wasnt in.
:)
some pple.
its like damn obvious that they're scared la.
so disliked by pple le.
still so thick-skin.
say what.
100% of supporters on her side.
she should like wake up la.
so act cool act dua.
rolls eyes-
she says i only give empty threats.
hoho.
i dont give empty threats.
and i guess she's kinda scared la.
its kinda obvious from my analysis.
self-denial kinda person.
i bet she's that kind of person who talks only la.
somemore.she's like so unpopular in her level.
so what if she's one year older than me.
mentality wise.she would fail la.
too bad.she was the damn one who's being so unreasonable.
i was just standing up for my baby.
hoho.i guess.and i bet.
i'll win.
oh man.
today was a damn bad day for me la.
totally blew up.
just couldnt take it anymore.
i guess i brought about too much commotion again.
sucks.
am i really such a bad kid.
sighs.
after exams!
myabe tomorrow she's coming my hse wor.
wow whee.
hoho.
had some weird course today.
some ettiquete thingy.
o_O
will be checking exam papers tomorrow.
sighss.
:(
i dont know why.
but the tears just kept flowing.
it couldnt stop.
i couldnt think.
my mind was black.
my heart hurts.
it pains to think abt it.
i'm sorry for being over sensitive.
sighss.
amaths paper tomorrow.
not looking forward to it.
i'm like failing my amaths.
oh boos.
i dont know how to do amaths.
what the hell.
the reason is you.
can you guys out there do me a favour?
add me to yr msn list.
ya.
cos.80% of my contacts got deleted.
by dont know who.
wow.
life's been really good!
except that i think i get too much attention from nair.
she's my fren.
and she claims that herself.
hoho.
like everytime she sees me walking ard school.
she'll come forward to have a chat wif me.
wow.:)
finished like 7 papers already!
two more to go.
amaths and history.
yucks for amaths.
sighs for history.
all the papers like damn difficult la.
chem and physics were killers.
and today.
that woman!
shes super crazy.
she can get my shivers to my spine.
she's like super interested in me.
ask pple where i am.
still as qian today.
how i'm going home.
by bus or by train.
then when we went the swing.
she stalk us there okk.
dao dian xin.
someone pity me please.
she's really freaky.
oh man.
why?why of all pple me?
:( frowns.
there are other trackers too!
and mind you.i'm not a bung.
so theres no reason why of all pple me.
somemore she's only a sec 1!
oh man.
it really freaks me out.
one last note.
i love my baby to bits and pieces.:)
hoho.
yesterday was the first.
eight long months have past.
wow.:)
time flies man.
but i better not write until so obvious.
my sister reads my blog.
and she told her fren abt my blog.
!!!
oh man.
no more private stuff.
havent been mugging hard.
i think i'm damn slack la.
now still surfing the net.
downloading songs.
hhoho.
anyway sports day rocks okk!
super.rocks.
being in the leading house rocks totally.
the atmosphere's like.wow.
super exciting.
my 4 by 4 race was like.
okk la.
since it is the first time i'm running.
managed to ovetake one person.
boos.
:( but to me its qt an achievement la!
since we were the champion house.
we had to wear our medals and run for them to shoot.
damn tiring.
hoho.
the green revolution.
garde rocked the whole stadium.
hoho.
we're cao pro.
after that.went to eat at serangoon garden macs.
then headed back home.
they came to my house!
we were like super tired la.
so everybody slept like pigs.
and we didnt really study.
cos we like gossip.
my sisters damn cute.
she was like so excited over the wakeup call.
:)
hoho.i'm stopping for now.
lalala~
Rachel / Rae
24th nov 1989
raeraerae_@hotmail.com
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